What are you waiting for?

What are you waiting for? 

Who are you waiting for?

Note, I did not ask IF you are waiting. We are all waiting for something or someone.

This time of year, we may be eagerly awaiting the New Year. At other times, we may be waiting on a promotion, a love interest to reciprocate, or for the kids to get along more often than the bicker.

I recently read this beautiful post on How to Wait Well by Emily P Freeman. It was sent to me by my best friend; she knows I’ve been waiting. I read it yesterday as we drove cross country waiting to arrive at our holiday destination. In the serenely quiet space of this morning’s dawn, I have been asking myself the same questions I ask of you.

Why does it matter for any of us to consider these questions? 

A woman in the dark looking out  to the light through a small horizontally oblong window. Her hands are pressed against the window. What is she waiting for?
Photo Credits: Mario Azzi

To me, waiting implies being held in place. As time moves forward while we remain in place, we are ultimately held back. It also implies needing something outside ourselves to fulfill our perceived requirements and desires. We need our boss to see our worth, Cupid to strike his arrow, or the kids to tire of bickering.

Does this serve us? If so, how?

Sometimes it does serve us to remain in place, to allow the answers to unfold. But this time of remaining in place is less about needing others to act or change. It’s much more about us getting still and quiet. It’s about giving ourselves mental and physical space to hear, see, and feel the answers. These answers of the next best thing to do to move us forward often lie right in front of us. Actually, they most often lie within us, but in the haze created by waiting on others we are blinded. When we wait on others, we give away so much of our own power; our internal knowledge that is directly connected to God, Source, Universal Wisdom.

A woman sits by an open window appearing to turn within to find the answers she is waiting for.
Photo Credits: Natalia Figueredo

Am I saying we control the direction and progress of our lives solely from within? 

No, it’s an AND. Sometimes we truly do need others. We do need our boss to sign that promotion paperwork, our love interest to show up for the dinner date, the kids to grow up and want to change. We need to listen to our inner wisdom and allow spirit to move through others. AND we need a better balance between looking inside and outside of ourselves. We need to shift the equilibrium away from waiting on others and towards listening to the messages from within. When we do this we have much better chances of knowing how to best move past waiting into action. For example, when we look within we can more clearly see and feel our worth. We can understand that our boss likely won’t value our work if we don’t advocate for ourselves. We know true love will not blossom unless we open ourselves up and allow ourselves to be vulnerable. We realize that the kids are young and still in formation. It is our job to help them grow and become more patient and kind.

The picture of a stethoscope representing that the  author has been waiting on her doctors for answers.
Photo Credits: Hush Naidoo

So, what have I been waiting on? I’ve been waiting on the doctors to not only tell me what the heck is wrong with my body, but more importantly give me a prognosis and treatment plan. I’ve been waiting for them to tell me what to do next. I’ve been waiting on them for a timeline. I’ve been waiting on them to provide relief from my range of symptoms. While I am making some progress following this path, the most progress has come from listening to the direction I received from within.

One of the biggest leaps forward in relief from my struggle was when I stopped listening to others push for me to be who I had always been and do what I had always done. The doctors said to keep at it, keep trying, use it or lose it. Admittedly, there was part of me that wanted and needed to please others in my life and follow doctors orders. However, it was causing me horrible angst and despair as I continued crashing into the wall of what I could no longer do. When I got quiet and listened to the gentle wisdom of focusing on what I CAN do, I found both relief and hope.

A man in silhouette taking a huge leap over a wide water way reflecting both the man and the setting sun's magenta sky. He is not going to wait any longer.
Photo Credits: Kid Circus

Another big leap forward was when, frustrated with waiting on the doctors, I got still and considered my symptom set, specifically my sensory, speech, hearing and vertigo issues.  The guidance I received was that I needed to see an Ear, Nose Throat Doctor specializing in Vestibular Disorders. So, I scheduled and waited. I needed that doctor’s knowledge and experience to conclude, as she decisively did, that one of my issues was Ménière’s Disease. I received initial treatment that day and in the intervening month and a half, my vertigo has decreased in frequency significantly.

Most recently, as prospects of more medicine looked in my future, I centered myself and turned inward. I asked “What can I do to try and change this projector?” Having a long history of exploring nutrition, I decided to re-dedicate myself to increased wellness through diet. My primary physician is a strong advocate of food as medicine. However, the diets he most strongly recommends are complex and difficult to follow. I’ve tried them already, so my instinct directed me elsewhere. I felt an inner pull, unlike ever before, to go Vegan and gluten-free. It’s been 3 weeks now and it feels so good! When I share with others that I’m going this route, often folks recoil a bit and say “Oh! That’s so hard!” While it does have its challenges, I am approaching it with openness and flexibility. Conceptually, this is far easier than other things I have tried. Most importantly, I have been delightfully surprised by the feeling of being spiritually aligned in making this choice. I feel lighter, happier, and more inspired. Who would have thought? I certainly didn’t imagine such a response, but therein lies the beauty of listening to your inner wisdom. I am so grateful!

A brightly colorful, healthy vegetarian platter of avocado, sweet potato, chickpea, lettuce and tomato.
Photo Credits: Anna Pelzer

So, what are you waiting for?

Who are you waiting on?

Where does your power lie?

Have you gotten quiet recently?

What does your inner wisdom say?

An black card that reads in white letters Let your intuition guide you. You are what you've been looking for.
Photo Credits: Jen Theodore

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